The mind of a shoe-thrower

"What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas"...lamented Black Eyed Peas.

Yea I ask you...what's wrong in the world of journalism that every other day we have to hear about some cranky journalist hurling a shoe at some political leader (way to go Bushy for showing the way)

Now, lets not ponder upon the many possible reasons why a grown man with a respectable career would throw his footwear at another (?)respectable man - he lost his turn to ask questions, he's fed up of the recession and he is likely to get the boot(pun intended), he had a bad lunch, his big toe is itching and he had to take off his shoe and thought"Hey, why not", the ac in his office conked off or his dog has worms......we don't care.

What we would like to know is what would be going thru his mind before during and after the great throw. Let's crack our skulls together....

Before - Is it a pre-planned operation or a spur-of-the moment thing? Lets assume it is pre-planned, how would one prepare himself for such a task. He would have to abstain from all alcoholic beverages for at least a week (why?cos it screws up your co-ordination duh) and having seen the Bush jig on TV, I realised how important it would be to have a perfect hand-eye co-ordination for the job. Any special exercise or training required?
(Nowadays there are plenty of online training sites for this kind of job but mind you there's more to than just clicking a mouse)

Next, what kind of shoe would you throw? An old one or a new pair specially bought for the auspicious occasion. Personally I think a pair of Bata leather shoes would be perfect considering the aesthetic form and aerodynamic built.


D-day - How do you actually throw it? Which side shall you throw? In case you miss, have you taken off the other side for a second take? When is the right time? Where should you aim for?
For a right handed thrower, it would be ideal to use the left one holding it upside down at the front end , chuck it with a left-sided arc action to get a good trajectory using Bernoulli's principle (like the swinging of the cricket ball)


Another big q- When? obviously Bush's case was not timely done. The right time would be when it is least expected....like when the would-be victim is gabbing away, not when he pauses for a response. Remember, you are unlikely to get a decent second chance.



Finally to top it, what do you do after the deed is done? Well, you can chant a hate slogan and curse "Death to blah-blah-blah", "no more Bush" (Moses would agree since he had to wander 40yrs in the desert after talking to one)....and be considered a hero, a role model for school kids and a future recepient for a bravery award (posthumously or in jail).

Unfortunately, in India you will not even make headlines, not even the frontpage, only a small column on the right hand side on page 5 somewhere under the article which talks about artificial reproduction attemted in Pandas in captivity.

Somebody got hurt real bad

"Although the procedure is relatively painless when done properly" - Wikipedia

LIAR LIAR

Mine was done properly, at least that was what I was told to believe
And after the second setting , it hurts so much that i had to take a day off, thus i'm writing about it
And its really embarrassing for a grown man to call in sick with a toothache...there goes my macho image

A root canal treatment (RCT or simply a root canal) is one of the most dreaded and feared medical procedure which we come across day to day. It has even prompted the modern man to say in response to an unpleasant proposal, "I'd rather have a root canal", not helping its popularity.

An RCT is done in multiple settings as depicted; mine is on pic3 and probably two more sittings required, hopefully not as painful as the previous two. And no, the procedure itself is almost painless, thanks to local anaesthesia. But the evening after.......beware!

I was told, on re-consultation that in some cases (not many), the aftermath can be quite like, umm quite like mine....lucky me!
A steady diet of painkillers afford me few hours of sleep, and a shot (as in injection) the next morning lessened the torment, and now I'm waiting for my 3rd sitting in two days which will hopefully end up less debilitating.

And if anyone asks me whether I would undergo an RCT again in future, if needed, my response is...."I'd rather have a root canal"

How to become a South Indian

Unlike Russell Peters' dad quickfix formula of becoming a Canadian by organizing a barbeque in the backyard, us down south here have to have done, achieve or adapt to certain rules, norms and habits in order to become true southies

1. Drink coffee, not once,twice or thrice....but at least 5 times...a day, and maybe in the night also
Also learn to 'stretch' ur coffee (see pic)


2. Wear a shirt...yes a shirt, not a fancy designer t-shirt, but a shirt, whether u r going to work or play or just drifting
3. And never wear shorts....outside the house
4. Learn to say .."Chumma".....just like u know, chumma!
5. If u have a motorbike(guys this is important), have ur license plate shaped like a batman logo(in white) and make sure u have a tank cover whether u r sporting a Splendor or Yamaha Y15
Bonus points if u can drive with 2 passengers ( in triple or "three-bul" as we call it back home)


6. If u happen to own a car, the backing sound should be one of these-
a) Airtel ringtone
b) Latest AR Rahman hit
c) Snehithane (Hindi version Chupke Se)
7. End all sentences with a "da"...You see da, Come here da, Eat da, Sleep da, "Enna da"
8. Play volleyball; girls...play throwball
9. Wear pretty embroidered pants....guys
10. Most importantly, enjoy dosa and idly as a meal

However the true becoming of a southie will be marked by ur pronouncing the alphabet H as "HEICH"

Now you have become a true "Madraasi"
Other suggestions welcome

Drive/flash/usb??

I remember when I first came across "usb's" and "pendrives" or thumbdrives/flashdrive etc etc
It was maybe in 2000 when i was traveling to vellore via Kolkata where i often put up with one of my many friends there then, most of them doing computer studies.
Some of their conversations, actually most of their lingua franca sounds greek to me.
"Rema's computer has an usb port!", one guy would exclaimed in appreciation.
"Mama has a 128mb pendrive", boasted another.
(yea....chuckle chuckle!! NOW)
That was wayyyyy back when I barely know computers and all I could manage was to send emails and later use Aizawlchat(oo yea).


While sweeping my room on a lazy hot Sunday morning, I came across a Trancend pendrive cap. And a fiendish smile ran across my face (actually it was just a thought I think!!duh), cos I was thinking which of my many friends who come to my room to get movies would be the unfortunate loser of the much coveted cap. And i thought to myself, further, how many unfortunate souls are out there without a cap for their virus carriers......and I continued sweeping(evil laughter...hehehehehe)

Limericks..cliche...I know

Somewhere along the line, I just started writing limericks for my friends (more specifically the ones from my community) which I like to write on their birthday cards and lately, orkut testimonials.

From Wikipedia - A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict form, originally popularized in English by Edward Lear, which intends to be witty or humorous, and is sometimes obscene with humorous intent.

So here are my Limericks for Vellore Mizo (ex)students

Ramdinpuia

RD=a fun guy
The kind who don't lie
In bed(that is)at all in the night
Never sleeps, that's right
And watches American Pie






Zothanpuia


This lad Zothan
Not built like a pathan
But still captained the basketball team
Shortest bloke to do so it seems
Til along came Nathan









Esther



Shillong gal Esther
Head as light as feather
But all who admired this lass
Felt like such an ass
When they found out she was high on ether








Bathsheba
Good ol' Betsy
A girl ever so gutsy

Never caught a cold
Even tho she's not an 18year old
Thanks to chavanprash and vitaminC

Hannah
Miss Khiangte Hannah
A doc she be wanna
Admiration she got plenty
Ever since she was twenty
Now she feels like Rihanna










Zoremsangi

Emo-looking Zorem
Listenin to Eminem
From dusk to dawn
Started to yawn
When the clock strikes 6am

Lalchhandami (Adami)

Madames she's Adam
Grew up on milk and badam
Our BIG little baby
Not so baby now maybe
Always crammin for exams

Mourning the living (damlai lu sun)

HORRORS!!

IS it true?
Are you sure?
Calm down!!
Take it easy!!

OH!you are there?yea yea.....this is why...


Winnie Cooper Is Married
(courtesy-yahoo buzz)

"If you were a boy growing up in the late '80s or early '90s, odds are you had a crush on Danica McKellar. She played Winnie Cooper, the object of Fred Savage's obsession on "The Wonder Years." The nostalgia-fueled sitcom has been off the air since '93, but Ms. McKeller still has legions of fans. Today, most of them are heartbroken. Their fair Winnie is officially off the market."




Look at her. How can any normal hot-blooded young boy of 13 not fall in love with her?
I remember seeing those weekly episodes of The wonder years on the then popular and only existing entertainment channel,star plus. Girls and boys alike would discuss it in school, like the time they kissed on the dock, the buzz on campus the next day was- "They kissed"

Then, the ever popular sitcom started drifting away from my life, distanced by me searching for my own Winnie,cartoon network and the appearance of OOOOOOooooh yeeeah WWF...wrestling shows which I religiously used to follow every week.

When i stepped into my college years, I remember seeing reruns on and off, now and then. But it wasn't til I came back to Vellore to do my postgraduate and downloaded the whole series and burned it on 3 DVD that I fell in love (yet again) with the show and of course, Winnie. In a way, she could make me feel like a kid again, hopeful of the joys of crushes and the heartaches that follow.

In a nutshell, a lot you need to know in life can be learned from these heart-warming half-an-hour shows. For example, there is nothing in life as frightening as calling up a girl, especially when that girl is a cute 12 year old girl....haha how true; how many of you established 20-something experienced romeos still get the yips before making the first call (thus resorting to the cowardly way out of using sms instead).

Eventually, Kevin didn't marry Winnie (yea i know, ooooooooooh), but the story couldn't end more perfectly. You see, 'Happily ever after' doesn't exist except in fairy tales. The Winnie Coopers will come .....and go, however devastated they will leave us. Rarely will puppy love and infatuation lead to an eternal true love which ages like wine.

However, sigh once again.....gotta see an episode now!

Files from my diary - 23rd March,2009

...and so passed another so seemingly insignificant and uneventful day....would be my first opinion and that shared by thousands around the globe...had anyone asked me my day was!

Yes it was boring, routine and uneventful...but each day has, as the good book says, enough bad for its own to which I liberally add, interest and learning points, if we learn to read between the lines OR just stop and listen

And ah yes, I'm merely trying to remember what those are.....he he
For a start, did I remember to give thanks before each meal? And I was feeling particularly thirsty tho' i wasn't a hot (by Vellore standard) day....and I read in the paper about shortage of drinking water everywhere in the world, and considered how lucky I was to have access to cool drinking water 24/7...one minute...gulp..gulp...aaah

A friend of mine at work was struggling with a disposable needle designed for a fingerprick blood sample for glucometer ( to check the sugar level)...apparently it was a model which she wasn't familiar with and sought the help of yours truly, who looked more mechanically inclined (cos of my Y-gene). It was then that I remembered she is diabetic; of course, I had known about it before but she has always been cheerful and positive in life that it didn't strike me at til then.
After my expert demonstration of how the springloaded device should be triggered, I had a chance to be grateful once again for all the things which we otherwise would have taken for granted...like being able to eat bread smeared with nestle milkmaid...mmmm...yumm(admit it guys, probably guilty pleasure snack for many of u tough guys out there)

You see, if only we stop to smell the roses, life would be more colourful and more pleasant...as my boss asked about my weekend to which I replied that I slept well, and she calmly commented "It's a gift of youth"...really??pondered I (Psalms 127:2)

Again you see....never mind ..time to hit the gym