The mind of a shoe-thrower

"What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas"...lamented Black Eyed Peas.

Yea I ask you...what's wrong in the world of journalism that every other day we have to hear about some cranky journalist hurling a shoe at some political leader (way to go Bushy for showing the way)

Now, lets not ponder upon the many possible reasons why a grown man with a respectable career would throw his footwear at another (?)respectable man - he lost his turn to ask questions, he's fed up of the recession and he is likely to get the boot(pun intended), he had a bad lunch, his big toe is itching and he had to take off his shoe and thought"Hey, why not", the ac in his office conked off or his dog has worms......we don't care.

What we would like to know is what would be going thru his mind before during and after the great throw. Let's crack our skulls together....

Before - Is it a pre-planned operation or a spur-of-the moment thing? Lets assume it is pre-planned, how would one prepare himself for such a task. He would have to abstain from all alcoholic beverages for at least a week (why?cos it screws up your co-ordination duh) and having seen the Bush jig on TV, I realised how important it would be to have a perfect hand-eye co-ordination for the job. Any special exercise or training required?
(Nowadays there are plenty of online training sites for this kind of job but mind you there's more to than just clicking a mouse)

Next, what kind of shoe would you throw? An old one or a new pair specially bought for the auspicious occasion. Personally I think a pair of Bata leather shoes would be perfect considering the aesthetic form and aerodynamic built.


D-day - How do you actually throw it? Which side shall you throw? In case you miss, have you taken off the other side for a second take? When is the right time? Where should you aim for?
For a right handed thrower, it would be ideal to use the left one holding it upside down at the front end , chuck it with a left-sided arc action to get a good trajectory using Bernoulli's principle (like the swinging of the cricket ball)


Another big q- When? obviously Bush's case was not timely done. The right time would be when it is least expected....like when the would-be victim is gabbing away, not when he pauses for a response. Remember, you are unlikely to get a decent second chance.



Finally to top it, what do you do after the deed is done? Well, you can chant a hate slogan and curse "Death to blah-blah-blah", "no more Bush" (Moses would agree since he had to wander 40yrs in the desert after talking to one)....and be considered a hero, a role model for school kids and a future recepient for a bravery award (posthumously or in jail).

Unfortunately, in India you will not even make headlines, not even the frontpage, only a small column on the right hand side on page 5 somewhere under the article which talks about artificial reproduction attemted in Pandas in captivity.